Log in

I didn't really end up enjoy myself too much at the Organ Grinder's Ball. I'd had a day that left me grumpy with a number of expenses that ate up over a third of what was in the bank. And fighting with the stupidity of the Fed online tax process. I'm not going to start on that again. But it all left me in a headspace that even a couple drink couldn't get free. I'm not really great with just people watching, it just makes me feel like even more of an outsider. But there were some performances, it was a three act show with one-on-one scenes in between.

One of the scenes was really interesting. Guy flogging a woman, nothing special there. Using two floggers at once. Skilled, but nothing new. Then he pulled out some whips. They looked like metal tentacles with a light on the end. They were probably rubber, I'd imagine, because otherwise I can't imagine the human body taking it. But they were thick, probably an inch. As if that thing wasn't impressive enough, using two of those at the same time was damn cool. But that was between acts 2 and 3 and was the first thing that really grabbed my attention.

The show might have been OK, and it could have just been my mood. But Becca and our friend Kate made some comments early on indicating that they weren't too impressed by portions of it.

...and I'm getting ahead of myself. Since it was at House of Blues no naughty bits could be exposed, and all female nipples were covered.
The first act had a circus theme. It began with a three woman burlesque performance that could have used some more rehearsal. Their timing just didn't match up very well to each other or the music. The music was from Pentaphobe, who've I've mentioned before as being awesomely unique. Th candy girls were amusing, one had lollipop pasties, another had a bra of cones of cotton candy as well as cotton candy under her skirt. I don't think it was actually cotton candy, although that seems like possibly a fun idea. There were guys painted up as lions and tigers. A strongman picked up a barbell with chains connected to the hoops in his ears. I don't think it was actually a heavy barbell, could have just been a prop, but it's difficult to say for sure.
The second act was Orientalism at its best, or worst, depending on how you want to call it. It was predominately Japanese inspired, including a Pickachu girl wearing only a yellow tail and tiny tiny panties. There were also some Chinese character types as well which displayed the haphazard quality of it. Schoolgirls, catgirls, and business executives abounded. A brief sumo battle took place. There was no set for this one, and nothing lasted very long. Definitely the weakest.
The third act had a science fiction bent to it. Mad Max crossed with Aliens with mad scientists and gas mask wearing security guards. It was the most visually interesting. It was also the first one that had some male-on-male BDSM action (cupping and flogging and the like), something which to me shows it's a real BDSM event and not something watered down for the masses. Male-female or female-female are palatable to the public, but male-male is still considered weird unless you're "in the life," to borrow a phrase.
But had really great sex with Becca when we got home, and that finally got me out of my bad mood. Too bad we couldn't have fit in the sex beforehand. Becca wore her black vinyl nurse uniform with red and white striped stockings. I wore my kilt with a button down shirt. The shirt has a silver embroidered band around the waist and flattened dice buttons. Nothing all too special.
I picked up some Mountain Dew flavored vodka last week. Finished it off in seven days. Liquor in our house usually lasts a couple of months as neither of us drinks much when not at parties. But this, I went through almost the whole thing myself. Shared some with friends, but I've missed the Dew.
I finally got to watch the two Evangelion Rebuild movies with Becca and theferrett & zoethe  yesterday after we helped them put up fences for their beehive. It was a fun group experience as I haven't watched the series with others in a very, very long time. We found each other shouting about the incomprehensible technobabble, psychobabble, and random religious references. We groaned in unison as the conspiracy got deeper and deeper, making X-Files look straightforward in comparison. And everyone ended up hating Shinji almost as much as the character hates himself. It was quite amusing how often one of us would ask "What's he whining about now?" to immediately be followed up onscreen by a character asking the same thing.
The second movie, which diverges from the original series, just had me awestruck at times. Brilliant and disturbing. It was marred only by some really bad musical choices, disappointing as the music was one of the strengths of the series and first movie. I'm looking forward to getting into special features now that I've seen it.

Oh, and tonight grf  shared some fresh mussels and oysters that he'd picked up at the West Side Market. Damn, that was yummy! It was the first time I'd had oysters. Not horribly different from clams or mussels, but tasty.

That's enough for now.

So, Friday was very interesting. Becca and I were just expecting to play Rock Band with some friends. Instead it went into territory that I happened to have just spoken about recently (entry 819). I got some pretty marks on my shoulder as a result  - see hereCollapse ). I don't intentionally go for getting marked because it's typically pretty difficult to leave them on me, but I do like it when evidence is left. It's kind of, yes, OK, it's a turn on.

But, man, if I’d known there was going to be test I’d have studied her FetLife profile closer.

OK, I’ll back up. Becca and I went out to dinner with a couple, I’ll call them D and S because using those initials in combination amuses me. If you don’t know why, then you’re definitely vanilla. Anyway, the dinner was also attended by D’s mother and step-father, causing Bec and I to remark that it would certainly curtail the dinner conversations. But that was really the extent of the flirting.

Afterwards we went to her mom’s place, where they were staying while in town. Her mom and step-dad had finished dinner before us and were already home and asleep. We hung out in the basement. Really had a high school party vibe going, which was remarked upon more than once. We chatted for a couple hours. D was playing with Becca’s hair, I was rubbing D’s shoulders, and S was talking about the extensive back story he’d created for a role playing game campaign. Then D turned around and kissed me and things moved pretty quickly from there.

I’m not going to go into all the details here. Not my style. Maybe I’ll write more detail under sinners_dance . But feel free to refer back to the marks on my shoulder.

The real point of all this is that on the drive home I was thinking that it was a great deal of fun, but… not as good as it could be. That the first time just isn’t the best. And I look back on those times that I haven't had a chance to have sex with someone more than once and feel like there's a missed opportunity for something really good. This instance, and the one with the last couple, both kind of came out of left field. With the other one we never talked about it afterward. They’d always been busy people that were hard to get together with, and then they had a baby, so it was difficult to tell if they were avoiding us, or just that damn busy. The last time we ran into them at a party they were really friendly, spoke about how much they missed us, and the wife even flirted some with Becca. So, yeah, we’re a bit confused about that relationship.

(I'm not really going to talk about the one-off time in college considering how long ago that's been, and that I've completely lost touch with her.)

But in this instance, D has made it perfectly clear that she’d really like to be with me again when the chance arises. Which is… pretty darn cool. A couple more instances like this and I’ll start believing all the compliments that Becca gives me. And it seems that we’ll probably be able to talk about it ahead of time to make it fit in more with how I like to do things.

First off, the first time I have sex I pretty much have a constant chorus in my head of “Is this really happening? No way!” That certainly doesn’t help. Stupid brain. But I also really like to take my time, which is difficult when I’ve got this whole shell-shocked thing going on. But after that first time, that stuff quiets down.

Also, beds are nice. Much better than couches.

And I have to admit that I much prefer a one-on-one experience. For playing around a group can be fun, but for something really good…

I’m honestly like that in most aspects of my interaction. As the group gets larger my ability to feel a connection or that I’m contributing diminishes. I have this thing of always feeling like an outsider, the more people there are the more I back off of to the periphery. I can’t even blame it all on the bullying I went through in Fairview Park because I’ve been that way since I was a baby. My mom tells how I was just a brighter, completely different baby when with an individual than I was with a group. With more kids or adults around I’d be much more withdrawn. So I think it has partly to do with being over stimulated by too much input, partly the bullying, and partly a bunch of other shit. How’s that for psychobabble?

And this might all be obvious to some people. “Yeah, dumbass, learning curve!” But back to the earlier post, I’m definitely still in the learning state. And I typically enjoy learning. 
07 April 2008 @ 08:31 pm
OH, I've got ideas...

Ideas about what 'd like to do with the both of you.

Hell, everything we've already done I want to do again.

But there are some other thoughts as well.

I'd like to go out for a nice dinner with the both of you... while you're both wearing butt plugs.

I'd like to go out, maybe to a party, with both of you fitted with remote control vibrators. And each of you has the remote for the other.

I'd like to tie you together with the bondage tape, chest to chest so I can spank both of your asses at the same time.

I want you two bound together wrist to wrist while you're going down on me.

I'd like to drip hot wax on the back of the girl on top as you sixty-nine.

You both need to get DPed.

Hot tub.

Full body naked oil massage!


I'm just getting started.



(ALL comments screened)
How I'm feeling: hornyhorny
01 February 2008 @ 12:28 pm

I don't think, and don't want, the bedroom dynamics to be outside the bedroom.

What I talking about is that I'm into bdsm... which means when it comes to the fun somebody's going to be dominant and somebody's going to be submissive. And I'm a switch, about 3/4 of the time I like topping, and 1/4 of the time I'll be the bottom.

But outside of playtime I prefer relationships of total equality.

BDSM is about trust, while equality is about respect... and I like to share in both.

How I'm feeling: thoughtfulthoughtful
Rubber cargo pants! - I'd probably want them in black. 

A loose fitting rubber t-shirt! - light blue? transparent blue?

A rubber dress shirt! - Sweet. Maybe pewter would be nice.

They call it a Hawaiian but it's more of a bowling shirt - Too many color combination choices for me to say anything here!

All this is pointless, of course, since I don't have the money for any of it. 

Hah, I probably just need the Rubber Cologne that avengangle pointed out to me.
Tags: ,
How I'm feeling: enviousenvious
20 October 2007 @ 12:00 pm
You won't need your clothes, we'll get rid of those right away.

All you'll need are these leather cuffs, to hold your wrists together tightly.

I'll push you onto the couch, and make you wait there on your hands and knees.

I'll run my fingertips across your cheek, gently, slowly.

Then I'll grab you hair, make you gasp. Your back will arch, presenting a perfect target.

I'll slap your ass hard.


And again.

I'll pause, rest my hand on your ass and feel the warmth already radiating.

I'll grip it while pulling on your hair and whisper, "You're already getting so pink."

I'll test your cunt with my finger.

"No, you're not ready yet."

No, you'll need more, much more.

I'll slap your ass again.

And again.


And harder.

While pulling on your hair.

The more you whimper

or whine

or beg

the more I'll like it.

The harder I'll hit. 

And when you finally whisper "Please" I'll ask you what you want.


I'll give you more.

I'll drag you to the bedroom and make you kneel on the bed with your hands pressed against the wall.

I'll start with a soft flogger.

Striking you across the your back, your ass, your legs.

It'll just be a dull thud that brings a warmth to your skin.

Then i'll trace my tongue up and down you, 

sneaking in random kisses here and there.

And then I'll bring out the suede flogger.

Heavy and rough,

it slaps and stings at the same time.


and harder

I'll hit you until you're breathing


and harder.



I'll give you more.

I'll give until you can't take anymore.

I'll give until you collapse.

Your thighs will be soaked with sweat and juice.

You'll be swollen,

and waiting.

And I'll give you more.

Happy Sweetest Day.

(comments screened)

How I'm feeling: naughtynaughty
19 August 2007 @ 09:26 pm
Alrighty then, I'll do a quick update since this slow ass computer is frustrating me to no end. Really, when I'm typing quicker than the computer can keep up with then there is a problem. Looking this over I realize that I'm writing the way I do when I'm drunk, that is to say with only two fingers. Kidding, I just mean the organizational structure is more like it is when I'm drunk even though I'm not. 

Anyways... bec76 did a super groovy henna design on the back off my left hand that I'll have to show off soon. It reminds me of Kyle Hotz's designs in Annihilation: Conquest - Wraith.

She, grfmoominmuppet and I went to a (the first?) meeting of a new Cleveland area kink club, CYPRUS.  Another friend of ours was there too which was really nice since even though we all live in the same city we really don't get together enough. The location (Red Robin) wasn't the most conducive to open discussions but we did meet some pretty cool folks and plan on attending more, even plan on inviting some to the next party round the fire.

Speaking of, the party on the 17th ended up being a smaller event than expected with all, I believe, the guests being for moominmuppet or grf. That worked out OK since Bec and I were both exhausted and crashed out early. This Friday, my 30th birthday, natch, the plan is to hang out at the Lakewood Riviera, formerly Paninini's, and I'm expecting to drink quite a bit. Can we come up with a drive me home plan? Yeah, that would be great. I'm hoping Bruce and Steph can make it, or maybe they can come to the next fire event.

Speaking of my upcoming day of agehood, it along with Carol's summer sale, inspired me to buy more back-issues and collections than I probably should have. More on those later cuz some are pretty kick-ass cool. You know you want to know.

I may end up using the day itself to take the dogs in for their far overdue vaccinations. The real desire, though, is to get Ditko a shot of something to battle his gordamn allergies. He woke me up early and kept me awake for two hours with his constant chewing and whimpering. Yes, go ahead and say, "Ah, poor puppy," because it was damn close to being "huh, where puppy?" cuz I would have booted him to the next state. The fact that it is not his fault is the only thing that kept that from happening. DAMN you, seasons, and you're changing shit!

I'd really like to hang out at Tina and Matt's for a while and play his Xbox 360. I've got the demo for the new Katamari game!! OK, yes, that was random, but that's the kinda thing I was talking about at the beginning so get over it. Not to say I don't like them for themselves, mind you, I just worded the desire poorly.

This will probably lead itself to awful first impressions since we handed out our LJ handles to a couple of people at th CYPRUS meeting. Sorry new folks, I'm not always like this, I just need sleep.

And away we go...

How I'm feeling: indescribableindescribable
24 December 2006 @ 01:02 pm

I'm creepy enough, as it is, at times, so I try to not fantasize about people I know. It feels wrong to be having people doing things that they may not agree to do even if it is only in my head. I even take this so far as to not fantasize about celebrities and such for the same reason, the exception being while watching or viewing porn as that is the point. If someone is in porn they are expecting people to be masturbating about them, yes? And there is an exception to the first statement, if I've been intimate with someone then I don't feel guilty fantasizing about them. But I really don't use that too much. So what do I do then? Well, I'm creative and I consider myself a writer even if I haven't been paid for any of my writing so I just make up my own stories with my own characters. Sometimes I use characters that I've created for my regular stories and have them do things that I'll never end up putting to page, but it is still a good writing exercise as I edit myself during these erotic flights of fancy. Yes, I try to keep them in character at all times. Damn, I'm a nerd.

That all said, there are a few folks I know, some in real life and some solely through LJ, female and male, that I'd like to take some bondage pictures of. Nothing hardcore, people, just some fetishy black/white cuffed hands, bound arms sorts of things. Hell, I want to try to get some of myself, too. I want to get a close up picture on my lips snarling back from my teeth. I have nicely gothic sharp pointy teeth, so much so that I have been asked if I have filed them. No, I haven't, but I do tend to bite my way through hard candy and I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it.

How I'm feeling: creativecreative
16 October 2006 @ 07:44 pm
When thinking about the result of the test (War Journal Entry number 184) I was inspired by evilgrins's too-much-information posts... so here's one of mine.

I wasn't too surprised by the deliberate, the gentle, and the love designations that the quiz came back with. No surprises there at all. I try not to make blind or uninformed decisions, I try to be nice and considerate, and I'm more interested in intimacy than simply sex. I was kind of surprised by the master designation, though. But on second thought... I have had enough experience to know what I like. I know what my sexuality and kinks are, so that's good. And I've done some things that some people might find shocking, exciting, or be jealous of. I've been flogged and flogged/spanked other people at parties or S/M clubs. I've got a beautiful bi-sexual girlfriend and the idea of her and another girl is lovely to me. (Hell, these days when I see an attractive woman my first thought is how I'd love to see my girl with her. I know she's been missing girl-love, too.) And I've been in a foursome where I was the only guy. Oh, yeah. Problem is with things like that is that you really have to do it again and I haven't yet. The first time you do it you're so weirded out that this IS actually happening that you aren't relaxed enough to really enjoy it. It's comparable to the first time you smoke pot, it's not really the best the first time. Course, I think regular sex might be like that for most people. The first time I had sex was on Sweetest Day (link provided for people not in this region), with a girl ironically named Angel, and I don't really remember it too well. Alcohol did play a small part in it. But I think I was sobered up by the time it happened. Damn my memory. I've worked so hard to forget and keep going after all the bad crap in my life that most of the good memories slide right out, too. I'm still pretty depressed so I haven't really been making any new memories lately. I'm a sad panda.
Tags: ,
How I'm feeling: listlesslistless
07 October 2006 @ 12:34 am
Another one??

Ganked from sinners_dance.

You scored as Bondage. Your turn on is bondage... all out. You don't have a specific part of kinky sex that turns you on more than any other... everything working together turns you on. And why shouldn't it? Sex isn't sex without all the trimmings.












Blind Folds


What's Your Kinky Turn On?
created with QuizFarm.com
Tags: ,
How I'm feeling: naughtynaughty