The difference between an excuse for an action and a reason is a sincere apology. It doesn’t matter whether a person just had a bad day, or was drunk, or has depression or another mental issue, they still own their actions and have to take responsibility for them. Any therapist touting that “they separate the problem from the person” is an enabling incompetent that allows people to feel blameless for what they do wrong. People have a conscience for a reason, and they should, no, they NEED to feel bad when they do something wrong.
The takeaway lesson I have is that if I am certain that someone will not react well if I raise a concern, then that’s a sign that the relationship should be broken off. It’s one thing to be concerned that their feelings will be hurt. That’s fair. Nobody really wants to be told that they’ve done something wrong. But there’s a level of reaction that is acceptable. What’s not acceptable is if their reaction to be confronted about their hurtful behavior is to get pouty or pissy for days, possibly even cut off communication “to cool off,” and essentially get angry at the fact that they were told that they hurt someone’s feelings. Not apologize. Not show concern. Get angry. That’s not only immature, that’s abusive, and it should neither be accepted nor tolerated.
This political climate isn’t helping my mood, instead it just reinforces that eloquence outshines honesty. There’s a distinct lack of comprehension skills in the populace. People can lie or misrepresent, hell, they can even say things that are just blatantly wrong, but if they do it with eloquence then people will flock around and declare them brilliant. That, of course, just feeds delusions. Then they end up running for President. And that's why we can't have nice things.