Log in

Recently I was at an event where some local artists were set up selling items and doing sketches. I knew Angela Oster was selling a storybook so I went to get that from her. She offered to do a sketch of whatever I wanted and I was a bit put on the spot. I try to plan such requests out ahead of time to match request with artist and I hadn't had anything in mind from her! I think I mumbled a little and finally said "someone in a unicorn outfit" which is horribly vague and she was rightly a little confused. So I showed her one of my pics and she declared she was going to draw it. She has a unique style so it doesn't necessarily look like me, but that's not really the point.

Behind the cut -

Pictures!Collapse )

Or check it out on her Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/p/BKrn541gvYe/
Oh my glorious guppies! I posted to FaceBook, Tumblr, and Instagram but missed posting here. My partner secretly commissioned this beautiful piece from the always wonderful Clare Kolat Illustration for our wedding anniversary, as a companion to the piece I had secretly commissioned for her back in May for our relationship anniversary. I cannot tell a lie, my heart was hugged until tears came out.

On National Coming Out Day I felt the need to post on FaceBook about identifying as genderqueer. It is friends-locked but I also posted to Instagram which you can see here - https://instagram.com/p/BLbKOS3BfCN/

As I said there, I think a contributing factor of my depression is that I feel significantly more feminine than I present, so I always feel there's a large disconnect between how people see me and my self image.

But that's the other thing I did on National Coming Out Day, I started an Instagram to show off and talk about, publicly, my genderqueer photos. My bio on it is also more out as I identify as a queer poly non-binary switch. Admittedly that's been in my bio on Tumblr for a few weeks but my Tumblr is fairly invisible thanks to having been flagged as NSFW due to a few latex pics, which means even all my safe content doesn't show up in searches.

So, yeah, I'm being more out. And I'm getting more attention. I've gotten a good amount (for me) of likes and interactions on Instagram, including having artists, fashion designers, and cosplayers who I greatly respect liking and commenting my stuff, and even following me. The positivity has brought me to tears. I've been told I'm inspirational and brave. I'm simply floored. But I honestly was scared, more so than I can even puts words around, yet I felt the undeniable need be more open. And right now I'm feeling more content with myself than I have ever felt at any prior in my life.
And here we are, the complete-ish unicorn outfit (may do some things slightly different, as well as have more make-up). Oh my gosh I love it so! I could prance around like this all day, believe you me.

I still needed way too much help with the wig. I freeze up whenever I try to practice putting on the cap and wig so I haven't gotten very far. I don't know, there's a sort of anxiety based mental block around it being all new. I know I have long hair but I never do ANYTHING with it. At all. I wash it and tie it back. Trying to wrangle it under control is not something I've done and most tutorials seem to start with the assumption that if you have long hair you know how to manage it at least marginally. I'm seriously tempted to cut it shorter (but still long enough for a ponytail) to make this easier. It's not like my hair is as thick and full bodied as it used to be.

I guess one other thing is to say this isn't a kinky sex thing. I know a lot of people may jump to that idea since latex is so often synonymous with BDSM. Plus there's that whole pony play thing (which is admittedly a fun, but separate, idea). No, this here is about feeling pretty and confident and femme and happy with myself. This is about expressing a joy and playfulness that is typically trapped under the morass of anxiety and depression.

Large pics under the cutCollapse )
That "major piece for another outfit" I mentioned a ways back arrived and it is so delightfully awesome it's difficult to contain my excitement at times.

So, what is it? It's an inflatable unicorn tail. With pineapples. Why pineapples? "Stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet inside."

Ok, a latex unicorn outfit has been a dream of mine for a long time but I never even considered it a possibility until recently. But with the wig from Purple Plum and bodysuit from Black Sheep Latex I found myself pretty dang close to making it real. I contacted Kink Engineering about the possibility of making a tail. They had inflatable cat and monkey tails, but no ponies. They leapt at the idea and were immediately excited to do it. They've been a delight to work with throughout the process, and even thanked me for having them do something so fun. They've also been constantly supportive and affirming, making me feel quite happy with my silly notions.

Anyway, pics of the full outfit will follow at some point.

I was tagged by a friend to list ten random things I like. It's a good excuse for more positivity.

1) Becca. No, really, how can she not be the first item listed? I could do a list just about her because she is the single best thing to happen to me in my entire life.

2) Hugs. And hey, besides the human contact there's a physiological basis to chest compression bringing feelings of comfort. (Probably also ties into why I like corsets and latex, they're clothing that give you hug!)

3) An increase in fun comics featuring (and often created by) women, POC, and queer individuals. Squirrel Girl, Ms Marvel, Patsy Walker: Hellcat, Lumberjanes, Goldie Vance, Kim & Kim... the list is just getting longer and longer and I love it.

4) An increase in the celebration and expression of diversity in the upcoming generation. The news often frames it as whining about feelings, but that's how your generation was portrayed as you grew up, and your parents' generation, and your parents' parents' generation, and so on. That's how progress works, each subsequent generation feeling that things can and should be better.

5) Characters. When it comes to stories it's the interesting, multi-faceted characters that win me over. You can have a cliched or nigh incomprehensible plot but if the characters pull me in then I'm there 100%. Characterization is why I fell in love with Transformers (and loathe the Bay movies so much). The toys all had individual bios, and while they talked about their abilities they also highlighted their unique personalities. Thundercracker isn't just a robot that turns into a jet, he's a guy who's not committed to the Decepticon cause and is mainly there because that's the side in the war his friends took. Trailbreaker doesn't just turn into a truck and project forcefields, he tries to act as team cheerleader by offering support and encouragement while at the same time he feels like a burden on his team because of his inefficient over-consumption of fuel.

6) Craftily woven long form storytelling. I'm talking about little offhand comments or background things that turn out to be majorly significant years later. I'm so delighted to see an author showing that depth and forethought that it makes me squee. James Roberts on Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye is a king of this, everything is significant either to revealing insight into the character or as a plot development down the road.

7) Functional art. Art, anything deserving of being called art, does something more than simply exist. But some things take another step. Architecture and fashion are some of the best examples of things which are at their best when they are emotionally evocative, communicate something from the creator, and function as what they are meant to be. Transformers toys (you knew I wasn't done with them) are miraculous feats of artistic engineering. And the illustrations in comic books aren't just snapshots, they need to construct a narrative flow. So many other examples exist, they all delight me.

8) Empathy. It is the key to our humanity. How sad are those people without empathy? To say nothing of how they ruin the world, without empathy how can they know or appreciate being loved? Any positive societal progress is made by empathy uniting us to move forward.

9) Feeling cute. One might even say kawaii. I don't get to feel that way too often but I'm working on it. I'm trying to be me.

10) Helping people feel good about themselves. Those times I can get out of the clouds in my own head and brighten someone's day are when all's right with the world.
Tags: ,
Yesterday's outfit - I didn't dress as wild as I’d originally hoped to for Pride due to the weather and timing, but tried to have some fun. Hard to see here is the holo bow and rainbow chain-scale flower hair clips which helped to hold the horn in place.

Pride this year was special. The regular organizers of Cleveland’s Pride parade canceled with less than two weeks notice. They claimed “social climate” concerns but it was really because they were douchebags who refused all offered help. The Cleveland LGBTQIA+ community collectively decided they didn’t need them and organized an event that was even better because it came from heart instead of corporatized bullshit.

Anyway, yeah, that was my look for Pride in the CLE. And nobody knew my t-shirt was a Transformers reference. Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong!

So I finally saw Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. First viewing of it was the extended edition, no less!

But somehow I missed the scene where Lex exposed Batman to Scarecrow's fear gas, which is the only explanation I can come up with for his hallucinations and downright stupid behavior.

And I also missed Glorious Godfrey whispering in Lex's ear like a modern day Wormtongue, because that would be a good explanation for Lex going from intelligent manipulator to crazy pants before he even gets exposed to the Kryptonian data download (which also occurred offscreen but was at least implied).

Seriously, with how unskillfully they laboriously hammered on some of the points over and over again they could have cut those back and given some more character motivation. And a "Bat Max" dream sequence is not character motivation, BTW, when it has no origin within the story and contains elements that Batman doesn't know about yet (Para-Demons).

There was just simply not enough Wonder Woman to save us from the sludge of toxic masculinity that was being splattered across the screen.

It's not without some redeeming factors. It's certainly far better than Green Lantern (but then again few things aren't better than GL). The visuals were quite good. The casting was really good (for the most part). I could have done with more Junkie XL and less Hans Zimmer on the score (I am so exhausted by Zimmer now, for reals). And like I said, if I pretend Batman was exposed to fear gas and Lex was manipulated all along by agents of Darkseid then sure, I can accept the plot too.

But using Zod to create Doomsday is just a waste of storytelling potential and tragically shortsighted writing. Use the big brute Kryptonian soldier and save Zod for a later resurrection where he can actually be interesting, you know, like Zod should be. He was one of the best parts of Man of Steel and he's been unceremoniously dumped into being a plot device ex machina.
To the people complaining that Ghostbusters is awful because it is anti-men, please think a moment. Reflect on your reaction. Realize that this is what women have been saying for years about movies' attitudes towards them. You know, those complaints to which your default response is to tell them to relax, that's it's just being funny, they are reading into things, that not everything is theirs and they should go make their own.

At this point your have three options -
1) take the advice you give out and get over yourselves
2) realize that it was done for that effect, to make you realize this and sympathize with women for the first time in your life, so maybe you'll listen the next time they give a grievance
3) continue being a douchebag who thinks he is not getting laid because women are in charge of the world and they've all decided to shun you, when in fact you're not getting laid because you refuse to treat women like actual human beings

And honestly, not every single male character was a joke or asshole. Ed Begley Jr's character is a very normal role for him and average person. The homeland security guys were kinda jerks but that's how homeland security is ALWAYS portrayed. They also weren't incompetent so much as just simply unprepared.

I genuinely think a large part of the reaction is that far too many of you see yourself in the villain, and that should justifiably give you pause. Villains when portrayed correctly are a warning to people to not follow this path, so please take that to heart. Realize that there are other ways to deal with the pain you've been through than give it to others. No matter how much you've been bullied and rejected I guarantee that there are many more women who have had it much much worse, but none of them are murdering people.

Also realize that all those default things you attack women about as if they prove men-hating women are in charge (custody laws, circumcision, etc.) are almost invariably in areas where men predominately have a distinctly unbalanced level of control so these things you hate, these things you attack women with, are actually perpetrated BY MEN. If women were in charge they'd actually listen to you! In most cases feminists actually agree with you and are most assuredly not your enemies. Now, when what you want is that all female characters in movies and games just be eye-candy, and that those women you deem hot (and therefore of value) should shower you with affection for being marginally decent to them while not actually believing they have thoughts, drives, and feelings of their own, well, then, you're still missing your empathy somewhere and feminists, myself included, have a legit different agenda. That agenda, BTW, isn't to ruin your fun so much as it's to allow others to have the fun and self respect that you are actively denying them.
We tried to do a look to show off my other Purple Plum wig and went for a bit of a punkster vibe with it. All love to my partner who put in all the effort you see here.

It became a slightly harrowing experience when I became light headed and nearly passed out in the middle of having make up applied; we’re thinking it was the combination of the heat and having skipped lunch. Doing fine today but that certainly made the process take a whole lot longer.

Pics under the cutCollapse )